Confessions of a Non-Athlete

Do you exercise? If you don’t, is it intimidating to think of getting started? Have you stopped for a while? Isn’t it hard to get that motivation to get moving once again?

As I was watching Dr. Tran run ahead of me on the C & O canal, taking pictures as she went, I was pondering why I like to exercise. One reason is simple. It improves my mood. Exercise has been shown to decrease depressive symptoms in people with depression and I tend to have a much lighter outlook if I am able to be active and to be outside.

But, I am not a natural at any of the things that I do and inevitably, whether it’s running, biking or swimming, I am the slowest in the group. I try to give myself credit for just being out there. I first started running when my son went out for cross country and I wanted to see if I could run a 5 K (3.1 miles). I have always been an active walker but the transition to running was extremely difficult. When I asked my son if it would always be so hard, he said that it would, but the distance would take less time. Well, for me that’s not exactly true. Although I only got minimally faster, I did develop the stamina to continue the activity.

I found that I got a runner’s high and when I was sidelined by injuries after pushing myself too hard, I really missed running. I did a half-marathon with friends the September that my oldest went off to college. Training during the summer distracted me from thinking about his departure and my running buddies talked me through over 2 hours of running in the Maryland heat. With sore knees the week prior, I almost scrapped the half-marathon, but I entered the run with the idea that I would walk it if I couldn’t run it.

On the day of the race, I found some people who were willing to run 3 minutes, walk 3 minutes to pace me and I completed the half marathon. It’s crucial to have friends who are willing to wait for the last of the group (that would be me) but since that run was at Virginia Beach and beer was the reward, I wasn’t too concerned that I would be abandoned. I was definitely the happiest of our group because I never thought I could do it, but I did!

Swimming gives me a different pleasure. I am cold all the time except when I am exercising. In the winter, swimming is such a treat because the pool area is warm and after a couple of laps, I am warm, too. The trick is to not compare myself with other people. I was told by a couple of friends that they can “only” swim one mile in half an hour. I thought that I was doing pretty well swimming a half mile in half an hour. I have struggled with accepting my level of athleticism but then, I’m not trying out for the Olympics, I’m just trying to be fit and to get some endorphins. And I am one of the lucky ones, once I get out there and get moving, I am happy, which is motivation in itself.

A few years ago, I joined the Lady Doc’s boot camp. Troy, our trainer, has the best personality for me because he somehow manages to inspire and make me want to do my best without making me feel bad about not being able to do certain things. That was the first time I ever exercised in a group and I said I would try it once and give myself permission to never go back. But everyone was so welcoming and non-judgmental and when the exercises are hard, well “misery loves company”, so I have stuck with it.

Last year’s challenge to myself was to try yoga. I tried a teacher recommended by a friend. It was already not ideal, because it was in the evening after work on the night that I’m on call. She is an excellent teacher but has a very stern manner. For someone who is already self-conscious about her abilities, this wasn’t a good fit and I did not continue. I found another teacher on a different night who has a more relaxed manner that fits with my personality.

Why am I writing all this? Well, it’s like when my children see me and they think that I was “hatched” as a doctor, or always knew what I wanted to do. All of our lives are an evolution. What works for us at one time in our lives may not work at another. I am a middle aged woman who is not a natural athlete, but I have found activities that are pleasurable for me and keep me fit. I have seen friends who were non-walkers transformed into runners, dancers, cross-training enthusiasts.

All it takes is that one step to try something new and some positive reinforcement, whether it’s endorphins and feeling good after, or having coffee with friends.

And for me, it has to do with getting over the self-consciousness that I’m at the back of the pack. After all, someone has to be there, it might as well be me!