Education While on Vacation?

Early morning a week ago, while David was on a flight to Australia for his healthcare consulting work, I drove my son Sandy to the Franklin and Marshall campus or F&M in Lancaster, Pennsylvania. He will be attending a three-week course at the Johns Hopkins Center for Talented Youth (CTY) camp.  Sandy will study chemistry this year.  He has attended the CTY camp since he was a seventh grader, studying Cryptology the first year, and Biology last year.  

Sandy does not take change with comfort like other teenagers.  He’s very attached to home and his familial surroundings.  Every year, for the Hopkins program, CTY camp, he has gone through phases similar to the Kubler-Ross’ five stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Sadness (not really Depression) and, only after arriving to the campus, Acceptance followed by a non Kubler-Ross stage—-enjoyment!

“You are robbing three weeks of my summer vacation!” He was complaining. 

Robbing?  How ungrateful of him, I told myself. The program is quite expensive, and not all the teenagers qualify to attend.   I would have been so proud to go to this camp if I was him. Wealthy kids often do not count their blessings, I told myself.

The way to Lancaster was emotionally long. I told Sandy how he has to treat his brain like a muscle everywhere else in his body.  If he ceases to use it, he will end up with muscle “atrophy” — in this case, his brain!  I went on to emphasize how education, at the end, is often the more certain path to a more secured life.  The nerds, studies show, often end up leading the herds, I told Sandy.  Those who have so much leisure now will be those who live a harder life as adults. 

I compared the brain to so many other objects Sandy is familiar with, from a car engine not being oiled frequently, to a peach getting rotten in a fruit bowl if left untouched for a long time.  I then preached to him how teenagers in the third world have to go to work early in life, and how fortunate we are to have an excellent education system in the U.S. including the summer if one so chooses.  I also reminded him how, as a college student on winter break, I bought the Statistics book for the class I planned to enroll in the subsequent quarter, self-taught most chapters in the book and did all the homework at the end of the chapters. When break ended and I enrolled in the course, I aced all the tests and got an easy A for the class. It gave me more time to study for the other important classes.  I didn’t know how much he “absorbed” of the speech I gave along the way, but I was hoping it would help ease the homesickness that he claimed he was experiencing.  I also wondered if all Asian parents preach to their children the same way on the way to an academic camp?

I told my bootcamp friends how, like an inmate on the death row, Sandy’s parents granted a final request for snacks.  He chose spicy Korean Shin ramen, a popular instant noodle among the CTY campers who are mostly Asians.  I got him a big box with 12 instant ramen in microwave safe plastic bowls and we dragged the box, covered in tissue paper (so not to embarrass Sandy) among his heavy suitcases, a big case of water bottles, pillow and additional canvas bags of snacks, to his dorm room. Sandy was so happy to see one of his former classmate campers, a handsome boy from S. Korea who last year brought two suitcases, one full of Korean instant noodles.  This boy became a popular kid for sharing his ramen noodles with the students in his building.   On the way to the bookstore, we spotted a big empty box of Shin ramen sticking out from a recycle bin, and Sandy reluctantly stood by it for a photo.  Yesterday, when asked if he shared any ramen with his friends in the same hall, he claimed he didn’t need to.  As I suspected, many kids come to this camp bringing ramen noodles as snacks, as many of them are Asians.  I told Sandy how Dr. Judy Song, a radiologist and fellow boot camper, promised she will make him homemade ramen after he comes back from camp.  He will hold her to that promise!

This weekend, when we called him, we learned that Sandy had changed his mind and declined to have my brother Vinh pick him up to spend time with his two cousins.  

“I have to play basketball for my team, Ma” He told me.  “HAVE” to? Hmm……

David probed some more during his conversation with Sandy and, as we correctly suspected, Sandy admitted he liked this camp even more than last year’s Biology camp, which he ended up liking a lot and where he made so many friends.

I believe it is important for parents to continue the education process in the summer.  It does not have to be an academic camp; it can be frequent trips to the library to borrow books on different subjects, fiction, nonfiction and so forth. How many books do your children read during the summer as compared to playing computer games?  It is important not to have the children fix their gaze at gadgets all day or spend the whole day on some sports field and get totally exhausted by the end of the day.  It is important to have quiet reading time or time for reflection.  Like us, they have to live a life of balance.  Their brain is as important as the rest of their body.  To disrupt the good habit of reading or being educated in some other ways for three months during the summer break is not helpful to keep the brain stimulated.  As parents, however, you can’t show your children a life of balance when you are willing to sit on a bench watching them play sports all day.   Their body may get toned while your abdomen continues to expand! 

Children also need to learn to be disciplined, whether in the summer or during their school year. Many parents would let their children stay up as late as they want in the summer.   As Dr. Linda Yau, who plans to review the book “Sleep for Success”, would tell you, allowing your children to drastically change their sleeping patterns over the summer might not be helpful once school starts. It does take time for the body to adjust to all that melatonin fluctuation.  I am glad the lights have to be out for Sandy by 10:30pm at his CTY program.

 We received no call from Sandy this weekend and every time we call, he hurries us off after giving a brief report of how well he has been doing. 

“My friends are waiting in the hall way!”  He constantly reminded us. 

So far, he went to two dancing events this weekend.  He played tennis and basketball in the evening and participated in basketball tournaments in the weekend. You see, the CTY organizers and administrators are very psychologically “in tune” and experienced. They recognize the value of social activities for academically gifted children.  These professors probably know how society often makes fun of “super nerds” who can’t “tie their shoes” or carry on normal conversations.  They provide enough entertainment for these kids over the weekends to foster their friendships which may last for years.  They also make these children realize it is OK to be book smart, that you can be book smart and well rounded.  A little sports, a little study, a little relaxation and fun is, in my opinion, a better balance for a student.  I am glad Sandy has had the lucky opportunity to mingle with academically gifted kids for three weeks over the last three summers.  Knowing him though, we already predict his usual commentary two months from now when some of the good memories have begun to fade:

“Yes, I liked CTY, but do I have to go away again next year?”

To many people, CTY summer camp might be a “luxurious” way to have college professors teaching your children important school subjects. For those who can’t afford the tuition of CTY, however, there are scholarships given by the program.  The children have to be academically qualified for it since the training is rigorous for three weeks.  Some public schools permit CTY credits to be counted toward school subjects, allowing the student to “skip” the course and replace it by another. 

For now, I am enjoying peace in the house after all that negotiation.  We will wait for the “Kubler Ross” process of summer academics to start again around June next year.   Unless, of course, the psychotherapist Rebecca in our camp tells me how Sandy might end up on her therapy couch someday because of his academic camps away from home.  If that’s the case, then David and I might consider signing him up for the classes…ON LINE!  Dr. Linda Yau, the “sleep for success” expert in our boot camp group, might have to come over and turn off the light in his bedroom at 10:30 PM.  It is all about the discipline of the brain!  

Some parents probably think of us as the crazy parents who will not let our children “relax” in the summer. “Let kids be kids!” they might say.  The working world, however, is getting more competitive and require more advanced degrees.  Without proper guidance from us adults, this “let kids be kids” philosophy might not be helpful for our children as they grow up.  After all, did most successful folks get to where they are without an edge of competition? 

For the parents who think there are other great ways to educate our children in the summer, I would love to hear from you.  In the mean time, enjoy your summer and do not forget to remind your children to read!

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