To Be Nice or To Be Tough as The Route to Happiness

There are only three more days before the 2016 presidential election ends.  As many of us would agree, no matter which political side we are on, we will be relieved of the pain and suffering this president campaign season has caused to our mental health.  I even wonder if 2016 president campaign will be known as one of the major etiologies that increases the rate of esophageal cancer (secondary to heartburn or acid reflux)?  It has been challenging not to run to the medicine cabinet to grab a few TUMS while watching the politicians hollering at their adoring crowds.  Many of us have scratched our heads daily while watching the candidates attacking each other’s characters, followed by their supporters and political pundits screaming at each other on social media and different TV stations, making us wonder if there are “nice” Americans left.  Should we move to Mexico or Canada to find peace after this presidential season is over? Is nastiness a much needed character to ensure success?  Why don’t people run away from nasty leaders? Does nastiness make good leaders? 

Before you think nastiness helps someone lead the pack more successfully, or believe that your tough boss is a better boss, you should readArthur Brooks’s recent article in Wall Street Journal about how “nice” people still do the best at work, in love and in happiness and, in turn, have more fun in life.

Arthur Brooks cited studies in psychology showing how, in the workforce, people prefer a nicer boss over a higher salary, and how nice employees tend to be seen as natural leaders and more productive workers. He cited another study in 2003 by the University of North Carolina showing clear evidence that women preferred “nice” men over “better looking” men.

A 2010 study in the Journal of Social Psychology, according to Brooks, confirmed how kind people perceived themselves as happy people.  Brooks believes kindness and niceness go hand in hand and encourages people to be nice for a week and see the same result for themselves.

A Harvard Business Review article by Dr. Emma Seppala in 2014 also cited multiple studies on this subject of nice people making more effective leaders.  Dr. Seppala, Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education, concluded that tough bosses can lead to a higher stress level in employees, leading to more harmful health effects such as high blood pressure and coronary heart disease, reduced performance, and increased turnover rate.  Warm or kind bosses, however, build more trust in their employees, create more positive social interactions which can improve employees’ health and productivity.  Dr. Seppala also cited a 2013 Gallup poll where employees reported preferring happiness over higher pay and these results were replicated in a 2015 NBC poll.

What should we tell our children or young adults who witness this 2016 president campaign about leadership?  The answer is clear that they should not view rude leaders as happy or effective ones.  At the end, niceness should trump over nastiness.  Be nice and you will sleep through the night instead of being awaken by all the negative energy building up inside your troubled heart and mind.  Be kind and nice to others around us and we will be happier people, even when we might never seek the most “important” job in the world.  After all, there are no data that the most “important” or “powerful” person in the world for four or eight years is necessarily the happiest person.  That indeed might be the most important lesson for our children to remember.

Is November 8,2016 here yet?  I can’t wait for it to be over and hope there will be some nice and happy people left in America.